AND SO THEY SAID, DEAN, WRITE SOMETHING NEW
October 15th 2008 13:42
Life came at me rolling. Like a bit of snow gathering up more bits of snow as it toppled drunkenly down a slope, even if I’ve never actually seen snow before, even if I’ve never actually felt how cold snow can actually get. As I clung on to this thing I’ve never seen, this thing I’ve never actually touched, the world spun in circles and slid sideways, slid downwards and sometimes things were more than okay, sometimes things were nowhere near okay and sometimes things were okay.
I know I haven’t written to you in a long while. I apologise. But you haven’t really missed much. In fact you’ve probably missed nothing, only nights running around, stumbling around, only high midnights wondering when we’d see our next vampire, only countless attempted breakfasts and day times filled with I don’t know, what do you want to dos. I haven’t written anything new until now.
Everyone’s been worrying about the economic crisis lately. Even Kochie from Sunrise looked depressed.
TIGHTEN YOUR FUCKING BELT, DEAN! My boss screamed at me.
I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING BELT!
Jude has been getting worse about his mother and probably about a whole new set of different things. He doesn’t even talk anymore. I found him in a BMW out of his head, tears and snot and powder everywhere. He told me to go away. He was about to scream something else but nothing came out. His expression stayed, but his voice didn’t. His face was red. I messed everything around, pushed him. I tried to drag him out of the car but he wouldn’t let me. He called me a prick. I tried to pull him away from his leather seat, I said, you’re not going to drive, and he pushed me again. I bit his arm but he didn’t react. I found his keys and swiped them. I ran off like the world was on fire. He vomited before he could chase me.
Sometimes you look at people and you scowl and you think or you scream: who the hell do you think you are? But then when you are alone and you look at the mirror it takes a long time for you to ask yourself who the hell you are, and a lot of the time there are lies involved.
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