ANIMAL KILLER
July 30th 2008 23:56
A dog ran into my car as I was driving the other night. It suddenly ran onto the road: there was a deep clapping sound, I slowed down a little, I thought about what the hell just happened, I stopped. I parked and got out of the car. I looked at the dead dog on the ground, eyes bulging out like balloons, the top part of it scraped off. It was like my car was a vacuum cleaner that sucked a dog underneath itself and murdered it. I looked around. My car key felt loud in my pocket. I looked at my car door. I looked at the dead dog. I looked at my car. I looked at the house it ran from. I looked at the door of the house it ran from. It was eleven at night.
I ended up knocking on the door. I might as well have shit myself and committed suicide, or the other way around.
A middle aged guy came out and asked me what the hell was wrong with me.
I killed your dog, was what I ended up saying.
The man shoved me out of the way and looked at the dead dog. He said a lot of words. One of the words he said was, “Fuck.”
I said sorry and offered him money even though I didn’t have money. He ignored me and told me to come into his house. “Come into my house, you shit,” he said.
I said, Okay.
“Sit down, you shit.”
I sat down. He turned on the TV and gave me a control pad.
“Play with me, you shit.”
I was scared, probably the most scared I’d ever been in my life, so I said, Sure. He had a Playstation and we played a Crash Bandicoot racing game. He laughed a lot as we played it. He had a strange, childish sort of laugh that was full of extremely loud chuckles. The room smelt like fish. He smelt like fish. A few hours went by and I didn’t get used to the smell.
Listen, I told him. I really have to go. I’m really sorry again.
“Stay for a bit longer.” He held my knee. His hand was large and warm. “Play chess with me, you shit. I’ll teach you chess.”
I moved away. I asked him, Are you a... paedophile?
No one said anything for a while until he eventually laughed. “Of course not. Are you sick?” He laughed a bit more. “I can’t believe you said that.” He thought for a moment. “I mean, if I was a paedophile, you’d be too old for me.” He stopped laughing when he realised that I wasn’t laughing with him.
“Fine. Go, you shit.”
I hurriedly walked out of his house. I glanced at the dead dog and stepped into my car. I turned the engine on and quickly drove off, wondering if the dead dog was even his.
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