THREE DAYS IN BANGKOK: BAD START
April 25th 2011 01:36
The flight was a terrible flight, mainly because the receptionist was unhappy about her ex-fiancé and I was unhappy about her ex-fiancé and this guy, to our left, kept touching himself under his blanket.
“Listen,” I told him, “I’ll give you ten bucks if you stop doing that.”
“No ya fuckin’ wont.”
He was right.
I turned to the receptionist, who was drying her eyes. “What your ex-fiancé said, about how he still thinks you’re engaged, and how you texted him-”
“Are you calling me a liar, Dean? I haven’t spoken to that arsehole in MONTHS.”
“I’m not calling you a liar!”
“Yes you are,” she wiped her eyes. “You’re calling me a liar. You’re calling me a slutty little liar.”
“I’m not!” I hissed. “Why are you being so defensive about it?”
She was sobbing louder. “This is a great start to our holidays. A great start!”
“Yeah well it’s all your fault.”
“It’s all my fault? What do you mean it’s all my fault?”
I ignored her and tapped on the in-flight entertainment screen in front of me. I clicked on the movie section, and then on The Other Guys. It was during the scene at the start where Samuel Jackson and the Rock drive into a bus that I decided to buy a drink. The receptionist leant into me. “Get me one too, please.”
After our first drinks, we asked for a few more. After about four or five glasses of wine each we started to laugh a lot about things, we started to talk about normal things again. It was halfway through one of the receptionist’s stories that I fell asleep, and for the first time in my life I had a dream that for no good reason I’ll always remember: Christina Aguilera was there, nude, and the Killers, all in suits, were performing Jenny Was a Friend of Mine right behind her. Christina said to Dean, The only girl I ever loved was Parade. I saw her photo and she was in Madrid and I couldn’t do anything about it, because I’m here. I’m so lonely and heartbroken and I’ll have to make do and I’m here. Christina and I spent an hour or so throwing guitars into a swimming pool while in the background, the moon shrank and expanded, shrank and expanded, and Dean whispered something only the Rock, who was in Neptune, could here.
When I woke up we were in Thailand.
Image from Wikipedia
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