BARRY THE STRAIGHT LOOKING GAY GUY
May 6th 2008 12:22
I think what bothers us the most about our friend Barry is that he’s not the stereotypical gay. He’s gay, but he’s sort of not. He doesn’t walk around with his hand high and limping down his wrist. He doesn’t gossip about celebrities, he doesn’t dress well. He’s fat and he doesn’t shave and he’s not funny and he doesn’t like shopping and he doesn’t know Will and Grace and has never seen Queer Eye and he hates Kylie. Barry doesn’t know what a latte is. He’s introverted but doesn’t appreciate art. He hates dancing. His name is Barry.
He does, however, manage to have sex with a lot of guys.
It was Jude and Vail and Barry and I eating sandwiches on the hood of Vail’s BMW.
“You know what I hate?” Jude looked at all of us. “I hate paedophiles. They ruined it for all of us. I can’t go around saying I love kids without people thinking I’m a fucking sicko.” He looked down, sort of embarrassed. “Because I do. I love kids. My girlfriend and I have been talking about them a lot. We want to have two kids.”
Vail rolled her eyes. “Stop talking about her. Stop it!”
Jude pointed at Barry with his sandwich. “I mean, like, if Barry went around saying he likes kids he’d go straight to prison.”
Barry laughed and didn’t say anything.
“Where should we go now?”
I shrugged. “Drinking?”
“Shut up.” Vail pulled out her mobile phone. “Hey, let’s all take a photo.”
We all squeezed near her and posed in front of her mobile’s camera. One, two, three, captured for good. Vail turned it around and laughed at the photo. Barry tried to get her to delete it. Jude laughed and mentioned something about how his girlfriend takes photos at a certain angle to make herself look good. Barry told him to shut up.
We kept talking as the sun hovered and set.
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Always Eighteen