FALLING IN LOVE IN PARKLIFE
September 30th 2009 14:21
Now there’s a rumour going around our group of friends about Simone, nineteen, who fell madly in love with a boy while in Parklife last Saturday.
Apparently, Simone told her friend Val, who told her boyfriend Casey, who in turn told a group of people (one of which was Madison, a friend of about four friends of mine) during a Sunday barbeque in Roma Street Parklands that she met a cute twenty four year old guy with a surfie haircut and hot shoes and an outgoing personality in the La Roux mosh pit and instantly fell in love. Although she’d taken one and a half pills and probably about one and a half beers (which she shared with her totally blonde housemate, Claire), she knew he was the one: he was handsome, his eyes were deep, he smiled, he waved his hands, he took photos, he seemed popular, he made witty jokes about Facebook, he showed her a good time. After they kissed he asked her if she wanted to join him and his mates camping that very night, at some place far away, some place near New South Wales. She was in love so she said yes. Nobody heard from her until Monday, when she called Val at around six in the evening, saying that she was engaged and that she hoped that she was pregnant because they will be getting married next month in Adelaide.
The twist is that Simone has never had a boyfriend until this. She’d never even displayed any sort of interest in the opposite sex, or even love, for that matter: all throughout high school friends would bully her, all throughout her university years her friends would tease her about her obvious boredom when it came to men and relationships (“Come on, you don’t even think Nate Archibald is hot?” “Are you a dyke?” “Are you a leso?” “You like chicks, don’t you?”). Her father passed away when she was six years old, and after his tragic death her mother wanted to start her own religion. She failed, so instead she dated several men; ironically, she’d always tell Simone to never trust men, to always hate them. Simone moved out of home when she was fourteen.
The second twist is that there is a rumour going around that Simone’s soon-to-be husband deals marijuana, and, in fact, has a tiny plantation in his basement. Simone doesn’t know this. According to a friend of my friend Matt’s sister, drugs are bad for you. According to a friend of my friend Matt’s sister, dealing drugs is even worse, and that having a druggo boyfriend is like, a totally dumb move, especially for someone who went to university.
Our world is a big world.
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