FAMILY
September 9th 2007 10:15
I don’t often blog about my family. The last time I mentioned both my mother and brother was a few months ago, when I moved back in. They were waiting on the driveway with cups of apple juice, and a sign that said, WELCOME HOME, DEAN sticky taped to the mailbox.
Since then, my brother has moved out with his girlfriend. Tonight, my mother is moving overseas. She has left me with the house. And the laundry. And the cleaning. And the cooking.
I remember the first time I moved out from home. I moved out with Eva and Jacob and David. I loved the independence. The freedom. The large shoes I had let my feet grow into. But I couldn’t help but feel somewhat nostalgic. I’d remember the times my mother and I would argue, that time she helped me find a toy that I had lost in the sea. I missed her and that’s all there was to it.
It’s funny how we work to support a family that we can’t spend too much time with because, well, we’re working. Sometimes I let myself fall into the excuse that I’m too busy to spend time with my family. I’ve got too many assignments to do. I’ve got my novel. I've got work. But when I look closely, I’m actually spending a whole deal of my time being lazy. Stoning with friends. Drinking and intoxicating. Kissing. Being naked and holding my c__k. Buying junk to look better. MySpace. Facebook. What is it about our families that make us want to drift from them? It seems that the word love nowadays connotes romance, rather than the love present in the family we’re already in.
My brother and I sat with my mother in the airport. We talked about things, like food, and the fat guy over there, and countries, and what we’re planning, and friends, and what makes us happy. I even slipped in a few dirty jokes here and there. We hadn’t talked like that for a long time. We sat in front of a large window, and from it we could see airplanes slowly moving on top of a lot of gray. I told my mother that I was sorry that I didn’t tell her everything like I used to when I was a little. I love my family.
A man can become a powerful dictator. He can be the coolest actor in town. He can be wise, he can be popular, he can be rich, he can be a fucking cult leader. But his mother will always tell him to clean his room. He’ll argue at first, but in the end go to his room and clean it.
We have to learn to value the good things we have before we’re forced to let them go. My brother put his arm around my shoulders as we watched her board the plane.
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody. Obviously.
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Comment by Wynona Lavota
Generation Y Life
Comment by JoH
I never understood why I drifted from my family either. Then some years later I had a baby and drifted right back to them! I think its cyclic and definitely necessary in order to realise what you have.
I really enjoyed reading this and think you captured some very raw emotion.
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Thanks for dropping by. Looking forward to more of your posts!
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
How's it hangin? Yeah, a lot of people have told me that in the end, they come back to their families. Maybe not always in a physical sense. I think a whole deal of who we are now reflects on how our family worked as we were younger.
Always
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
This was a really beautiful post, and so true. We all have to spread our wings and stand on our two feet. But you miss the safety net of living at home sometimes!
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Friends come and go, jobs come and go, things come and go... But family, well, they'll always be family
Comment by Miss Nomer
so much truth and honesty and self recognition...you are doing your mum proud...and yourself...
silly old sayings are sometimes right..
you cant choose your family but you can choose your friends..
funny bout that..all my good "old" friends love my family as much as I do..and I was estranged, (self imposed), from both for a few years...
blood is thicker than water...
yes it is which is why .... lets not go there...
another brilliant, insightful and inspiring post....
x Miss Nomer
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
I love it