IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE
July 29th 2007 14:12
I知 in the mood for something translucent. A spark in an aquarium surrounded by a thousand more. I want my ears to feel and my heart to hear. I知 in the mood for a shock. Something to interrupt a routine I致e finally gotten used to. A desire born from something that never used to exist.
When I was in year one I was in love with a girl who looked funny. She had big eyes and weird lips. And she told me about how she never belonged to that eternal black, that lonely and distant night sky. Why doesn稚 the sky want to touch us? She asked.
I知 in the mood to feel sated. I want to be impaled by a spear of dreams. I want to swim from hands of liquid and ask the world, Why? Why should I deserve this goodness and this wrong? Can you not give me an ultimate satisfaction? I知 in the mood to wonder. To ask questions and ignore the answers.
I want to look in the mirror and not find guilt. I want to fall asleep and melt in a shower of absolute contentment. I want to pull the curtains off my sleepy rooftop and wear them and become so damn visible. I知 in the mood to be alive. I知 in the mood to tell my tears, Fuck you, arseholes! and simply remember to smile, for out of all the things that are wrong, positive sentiment still deserves its grace. I知 in the mood to fly. I want to gobble the clouds like I gobble marshmallows. I want to scribble on the world with a giant crayon and have my mother have to clean my mess up afterwards.
I値l never find these seconds again. They値l go away because time is linear and one of a kind. I値l only have one chance. Every Monday is unique. Every Saturday is unique. The sun has a life and so do we. I知 in the mood to give up, but I can稚. I知 in the mood to feel ashamed, but I must not. I知 in the mood to spin in dizzy agony, but I won稚. I have to fall asleep tonight. I have to wake up happy. I知 in the mood for glowing amber rods, for barks and fireworks, for a thunderstorm of malicious realisations, for drama and drear, for a colossus sent from every wish that will make me, me.
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
There's nothing like being in love (or lust even) is there? The excitement, nerves, the jitters, constantly questionning yourself and overthinking every word or action you make. How can something that sounds so horrible be such fun????
Ah, it's been too long since I've had that feeling!! Hpoe you find it soon!
Kylie
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
There's nothing more horrific yet frighteningly addictive than love.
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Comment by Chic Critique
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Hey Chic, what's happening?
Yeah, I wrote it when I couldn't sleep. I had to blurt something out of my system, so I thought that I might as well type it.
Hey, belated congrats on the move to fashion.org.au- that's the top blog, right?
Glad to have you drop by.
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
I made 3 wishes. I haven't won the lotto yet. I don't yet have a new car. My third wish is a little different - I joined Brisbane State Library's Young Writer's Award. I'll tell you if my wish came true this September!
Comment by Chic Critique
Cheers
CC
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Best of luck on the award!
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
p/s...I didn't win the Lotto either...
Comment by Mountain Fog
good luck with the award...but don't get annoyed or depressed if you don't win...because, going by the way you write, eventually you will find your way, and look back at their silly parochial insular petty minds and softly smile, content that your worth and your art soared to greater heights than they could ever dream of....
ok...so I should have written this AFTER the award decision...but...weeell..who knows, I may be dead by then and have learnt not to miss the inspired moment anymore.
cheers and beers
fog