LOVE ALWAYS REMAINS
June 16th 2008 13:31
Jude and I were waiting in the hospital again. We were waiting for Vail again. We walked around, made a few jokes about the smells, made a few jokes about the sick people. Hospitals are like haunted houses. People keep expecting something awful to happen so they keep quiet, they keep on their toes and they stick to their thoughts.
Eventually, we saw Vail. She had bloodshot eyes and her hair looked like some kind of bedazzled shrub.
“Next time you try to kill yourself,” Jude glared, “Actually die.”
...
Vail cried on my shoulder a few hours before the costume party. Neither of us said much. She looked beautiful in her costume.
The party was pretty good. Everyone was drunk and not caring. The host was sleeping with someone so no one was telling us what not to do. Someone screamed a joke but no one laughed. Well, I sort of did.
Vail was extremely drunk; she was being felt up by a bunch of random guys. The hard part about being a guy is that you have to always look tough, no matter how much of a dork you are, no matter how much shit the big people give you. I stared them down and picked Vail up and dragged her out of the house.
“Dammit, Dean! I’m really drunk, Dean!”
“You reckon?”
“I love you Dean!”
“I love you too!”
“No, like, I love love you!”
“I love love me too!”
“That’s not funny!”
“Stop yelling!”
“You stop yelling!”
“I hate you!”
“I hate you too!”
“Do you hate hate me?”
“No, I just hate you!”
Vail forcefully put my hand on her cheek. “Look at me!”
I dragged her into my car. She vomited. I dragged her back out. She didn’t vomit. I dragged her back in and drove her home. She kept crying.
If you want to find tragedy in this world, all you have to do is find a woman.
I waited for Vail to fall asleep and then went home. I drank a lot of beer and cheap, stolen wine. I smoked. I sat and stared. I turned my laptop on; there was something to write but it did not want to be written. I looked at my phone. I looked at my wall. I tried to sleep but nothing happened. I looked at my phone. I looked at my wall. I looked at my phone and called Eva. She picked up. We were both silent for a while, until I gave in and said, Hello? I felt her smile and she said, Hello. Things became warm. I told Eva that I’m losing faith in people. I told her that everything’s crap. I begged her to come back to Brisbane, like the pathetic, flawed person that I am. She told me that she’ll always love me and care about me, but that’s as much as she’ll do. She told me that you only live once, so you might as well look at the world with a smile and accept it for its mistakes, like how it tries its best to accept you for yours. I told her that she’s a star, a moon, that stuff between that never-fucking-ever sky and the tip of my breath. I told her that I want to murder all the rich law-studying boys around her and that I am in love with her and I want to marry her and have fifteen babies with her. She giggled. She said, Stop drinking.
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Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
That's a perfect song for your piece.
Good luck with your manuscript,
Tracy
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Fingers crossed...
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Oh, by the way, I really that Nick Cave song. I remember a period way back where I listened to it constantly. If you somehow get one of the 10 Years Later DVDs with his performance, I highly recommend watching i!
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I can actually feel his words as they glide over my body and seep in.
We played this at my sister's funeral and it was perfect.
I'm listening to it now...
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
It took me a while to figure it out, but the news eventually dropped on my head and sunk into my dirty heart
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I don't want to sound arrogant but I have to say I've seen him about 6 times and each time has been incredible. I'm showing my age but I don't care when it's related to Nick..
Comment by Anonymous