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My name is Dean. I live in Brisbane City.

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THE WRITER

August 10th 2008 11:55




I attended this talk by this guy who was a representative for an independent publishing house. The guy said that if you’re an unsolicited author, you have the same chance of getting your manuscript published than you do winning the lotto. I better learn how to win the lotto.



Vicki swore at me the other day. She said, “I read your blog about me.”

I yelled and told her that it was her fault for smelling like that.

Then she swore at me. “You don’t get girls, Dean! That’s why you fail with them all the time!”




Books filled my room up the other day. They gushed out from the floor and my ceiling. They collided against each other and collided against everything. I couldn’t take it all so I went outside. It was freezing cold (it’s winter here in Brisbane) so I went back inside. I went to the kitchen and sat there. There was no food. There hasn’t been food for a long time. I’ve been driving a lot on empty. My drives are often about me, frightened about that glowing empty fuel icon near my petrol gauge, and the passengers in my car, frightened about that glowing empty fuel icon near my petrol gauge. I’ve finally realised that money really doesn’t grow on trees. It only grows where it’s green. I’ve been using all my money on debts, bills, paper, printer ink and postage and return envelopes. Everyone’s been telling me to give the hell up on trying to get published and just get a normal life. Be like Jude. I have to admit, things have been a little hard. Sometimes I wonder how alcoholics get the money to be alcoholics.

I drove to Vicki’s house on empty. She opened the door and I handed her a plastic bag filled with rips of paper with writing on them.

She looked worried. “What’s in this?”

I said, About a thousand Sorrys.

She smiled. She brought some ice cream out from inside her house. We started eating the ice cream on my car bonnet. It was freezing cold so we went inside to eat the ice cream. The ice cream was freezing cold so we decided to not consume anything at all.

I told her, I’m still in love with a girl who doesn’t care anymore. It’s stupid. She used to call me randomly and we’d usually fight… but she’s with someone else now. I've seen their happy photos together... I’m assuming he’s this nice, rich and extremely thoughtful guy who smiles a lot and has everything going for him.

Vicki rolled her eyes. “Aww. Poor you. Your life is just one big tragedy, isn’t it? At least you're not the one with the rep for having the worst smelling private parts.”

I laughed.



We both sat there, we both stayed put. Me, the worn out, crappy looking poor guy, Vicki, the girl with the worst smelling vagina in town.




postcard





[If you're a struggling writer, stay tuned for the next entry. There are some helpful programs I'm going to put up!]






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Comments
7 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Tracy

August 10th 2008 22:28
Eek, I don't do the lottery and I haven't finished a book...I'm in trouble...!

Comment by Lilla

August 11th 2008 04:44
Dean,

I’ve finally realised that money really doesn’t grow on trees. It only grows where it’s green.

There is an old man inside of you somewhere, just waiting to get out.

It is true my friend; All life is change and striving is the source of all suffering...

Always a pleasure.

Lilla ...

Comment by Lara M

August 11th 2008 09:26
I'm with Tracy on this <lol>

Comment by Mountain Fog

August 11th 2008 11:52
Hey matey,

this duuude who is from the "independant publisher" sounds like a douche bag and, is most likely bitter from his personal experience at trying to be an author!

However, it is not easy, I readily admit.

Yet, many fabulous authors have been turned down, time and again, only to eventually find someone, who wasn't an idiot, who published them, for instance; George Orwell, who tried in vain to get his work published, he even sent the manuscript to America, one publishing house returned his manuscript, no doubt unread and stated words to the effect, '‘It is impossible to sell animal stories in the USA.'

The book was Animal Farm!!!!!!!!!!!

"Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" holds the most rejections for a manuscript, that being 121.

"Jonathan Livingston Seagull" was rejected 26 times before it was accepted, (and it sold 30 million copies!)

J.K. Rowling received 14 rejections for her first Harry Potter book.

Stephen King received more than 30 rejections for his first novel Carrie.

Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time received over 30 rejections.

So take heart old top!

Some infamous rejections include;

Carrie by Stephen King
'We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell.'

The Spy who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré
‘You’re welcome to le Carré – he hasn’t got any future.’

On Sylvia Plath
'There certainly isn't enough genuine talent for us to take notice.'

Some 'non-entities' rejected by publishers;
Henry James, Gertrude Stein and Joseph Heller.

Some 'small works' that publishers rejected;
War and Peace, The Good Earth, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayam and Watership Down.

Some other rejection quotes;

Jorge Luis Borges
'utterly untranslatable'

Isaac Bashevis Singer
'It's Poland and the rich Jews again.'

Anais Nin
'There is no commercial advantage in acquiring her, and, in my opinion, no artistic.'

Jack Kerouac
'His frenetic and scrambled prose perfectly express the feverish travels of the Beat Generation. But is that enough? I don't think so.'

Lady Chatterley's Lover by D H Lawrence
'for your own sake do not publish this book.'

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
'an irresponsible holiday story'

Lord of the Flies by William Golding
'an absurd and uninteresting fantasy which was rubbish and dull.'

Watership Down by Richard Adams
'older children wouldn't like it because its language was too difficult.'

Quotes from: "Rotten Rejections: The Letters that Publishers Wish They’d Never Sent" by Andre Bernard. Robson Books

So, check out all the writing competitions, particularly the international ones, and enter as many as you can, short stories etc, and keep sending your manuscripts out, o overseas as well.

In the meantime, go the the newsagency, a big one, and check out all the magazines, find some you think you could write for, that also print short stories etc, or short articles of interest, and even trade journals, for various industries, check them out at the State Library or wherever, and often they pay really well for a short story on their area of interest, or at least involving their area, like dentistry... really!

cheers

and keep us posted..

and... one more thing;

you are doing everything perfectly correctly so far, including; starving, relationship problems and living on the edge! These elements of personal experience are the emotional, physical and spiritual fertilizers needed to write a great work of art!!


VIVA VICISSITUDES!!!

keep battling!!

fog

Comment by Always Eighteen

August 11th 2008 12:51
Tracy


- ha ha ha. I'll join the lotto every week and see which one comes to me first


What kind of story are you planning on making it about, anyway?

Comment by Always Eighteen

August 11th 2008 12:58
Lilla!


"All life is change and striving is the source of all suffering..."

I guess if we don't suffer, then we won't be able to others as easily....

I had my birthday the other day. I've hit the 20 mark. When I was young, I could easily spot out 20 year olds. I used to think, I'll never be like that. Now I'm gonna have that generic 20 year old face. I won't have to photograph it cos it'll remain the same for quite some time.

Comment by Always Eighteen

August 11th 2008 13:07
Mountain Fog!


Wow, man. I'm going to print that comment out and stick it on a board, and I'm going to read that comment on that board several times over and feel good. I'm shitted about Stephen King's rejections - 30?

I mean, 30????



I've heard about JK Rowling's rejections. I've heard the best way to get into the publishing industry is to get an agent. But nowadays, getting an agent to support your work can just be as difficult as getting published.

With all the hardships of getting published, it makes me wonder - how do all the crap books get out there?





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